How getting clear about what you want can be a game changer

How many times do we hear people talking about the very thing that they don’t want? Or complaining about what is wrong with the world and their lives? Living in Yorkshire as I do it is a common thing to hear people complain – we all love a good moan! But how would our lives be if we had nothing to complain about? If our lives were totally peachy!?

We might lose our common interest with some of our friends and peers. What would we talk about if we can’t moan to our friends about how bad our lives are? Often it gives us common ground and a reason to interact and connect with each other. However how much does focusing on our problems and the limitations of our lives hold us back and keep us in the very circumstances which we complain about? What if we did something different and focused our energies elsewhere?

We have become so accustomed to complaining that we forget to be grateful for the things we have achieved and those conditions which we truly appreciate. Many of the books on the Law Of Attraction including ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Bryne, Napeoleon Hill’s ‘Think and grow Rich’, ‘Working with the Law’ by Raymond Holliwell and ‘The Science of Getting Rich’ by Wallace Wattles, to name just a few,’ attribute the cultivation of an attitude of gratitude to the attainment of a successful, happy life. Focusing on the things we are already grateful for puts us into a much more powerful state than the one which we create when we complain and think of how dissatisfied we are. Ultimately it is the dominating thoughts and attitudes of our lives which manifest into our physical reality or the physical results in our lives. Of course sometimes our feelings of dissatisfaction are telling us that we need to do something to improve our condition and it isn’t necessarily our thoughts alone that we need to work with. Often we need to act.

What we are ultimately seeking when we attain all of those things which we say we want is this feeling of gratitude. We believe that by getting the house, the partner, the car or some such condition into our lives that we will finally be happy. It is a very western concept to go for the materials things in life which we believe will give us the inner state we desire – our happiness. A more Eastern concept is to first practice being in the state of happiness/contentment by cultivating gratitude. By being the person you want to be first, you draw events, circumstances and people into your life which are in tune with your inner state. It’s happiness from the inside out rather than from the outside in! Instead of focusing on things outside yourself which you want (emotional wanting state), focus instead on the things which you already have for which you are grateful for (grateful/contented state). There are always things to be grateful for: your health, your clothes, your friends and relatives or having a roof over your head or food in your belly. Really feel the state and take some time to really feel the emotions of your gratitude. How do the different states feel? Is one more comfortable than the other and in which state would like to predominantly spend your life?

Getting clear about what you want and focusing on what you want is hugely important. Not just in the 10 minutes or so when you are thinking about it and writing your goals but in ceaselessly contemplating your vision for the future and only talking of what specifically you want rather than what you don’t want. What you don’t want needs to be completely removed from your consciousness because the more focus and attention you give it the more things will appear which are in tune with this energy pattern in our lives. Much of our speaking of our difficulties and the obstacles to our success has become habitual and unconscious. We contemplate what we truly want in our lives but then talk against it when complaining about our lives – therefore halting its progress towards us.

Our subconscious mind is eavesdropping to our conscious mind and our conversations. It thinks in pictures and emotions and deciphers our words in terms of feelings and images. Think of how our subconscious talks to us during sleep. Our dreams come to us in pictures and feelings. It is subtle and when you unconsciously talk against your success it is listening and trying to deliver that to which you are giving your energies and attention. Whether it is positive or negative is immaterial to your subconscious mind.

We need to become aware of our thinking and talking and gain control over them if we are to impress upon our subconscious mind that which we really want to manifest. Napoleon Hill -Think and Grow Rich: “Man may become the master of himself, and of his environment, because he has the power to influence his own subconscious mind.”

Another great book on this topic is Ask and it is Given by Ester and Jerry Hicks. One chapter talks about creating a ‘book of positive aspects’. It is simply a notebook in which you write down all the positive things in your life which you enjoy and are grateful for. This is a great exercise for training your emotional guidance system, as it is called in the book, to focus on those things which puts you in a good, positive state. Over time and with practice this state can become your dominant mental state and you will help you draw more circumstances and events which are in tune with this state of being.