Resisting change and holding on to the past can hold us from the good we deserve in life. Instead of looking forwards towards what we want to create in our lives, we look backwards to old patterns of behavior which no longer serve us. We can easily get stuck in an unproductive state of mind and caught between the headlights, no longer moving forwards towards our goals, dreams and desires, but looking backwards towards regret, uncertainty and indecision. At one time or another, most people face this inner state or uncertainty, regret and indecision. The important thing is to notice it happening and take some bold steps towards the life which you truly want and towards being the person you would really love to be.
The importance of mindset
Mindset is such an important aspect of our lives it is often overlooked. We carry such burdens around with us in the form of unresolved difficulties, grief from the past and indecision about our future. What if we could drop it and just quit worrying forever! Our self appointed responsibilities, duties and obligations often keep us ‘trapped’ in a position of life which no longer serves us. Much of our programming which has come from our parents, culture, upbringing and social circles can hold us in a paradigm of false belief and assumptions which can often be based on ignorance. Are we truly aware of our choices which we have already handed away to those who impose their preferences on us? Are our own choices really our own choices or are they based on assumptions, inherited beliefs and social programming?
I mentioned sub-personalities in an earlier blog post: why mindset is more important than activity. This is something which I have been thinking about lately since I was listening to a self esteem tape (Yes a tape – they still exist!) which mentioned sub-personalities . I first came across sub-personalities when studying NLP (Neuro linguistic programming) several years ago. Your sub-personalities are part of you which you have taken on as your own personality.
There may be the ‘joker’ the ‘whiner’ the ‘pessimist’ and the ‘cynic’ but these are not you, just personalities which you have taken on as ‘yourself’ usually unconsciously, over the course of your life. If you think about your sub-personalities as relating to ‘relationships’, ‘humor, ‘money’, ‘jobs’, ‘work’ and ‘love’, for example, you may notice a reaction, particularly if you have a strong emotional connection (or disconnection) from any one of these. Think about one of your sub-personalities and let a character come out from the association. One of mine was ‘Eeyore’ from Winnie The Pooh. It was the first image which came to me when I did this exercise, perhaps because I have ‘suffered’ from depression in the past. Sub-personalities can also be based on people you have met or known or someone you might aspire to be like.
The reason sub-personalities are so powerful is because we identify with them as ‘ourselves’ and therefore they can control our behavior, keeping us trapped in cynical viewpoints which prevent us manifesting things as we would like them to be. If your ‘identity’ is caught up in being ‘broke’ all the time, it is much more difficult to align yourself with being wealthy – much like having a ‘poor me’ ‘control drama’/ sub-personality.
If we are always ‘depressed’ and have become attached to this personality trait, whatever we do on the ‘outside’ in our lives, if we carry this false paradigm with us we will perpetuate it forever, manifesting more reasons to be pessimistic. Being ‘broke’ can have a negative payoff much like being an ‘Eeyore’. People can be drawn into your drama and give you their attention and sympathy. However it is much better, and easier, to be free from a negative sub-personality which controls you.
Often ‘control dramas’ have come about from childhood and then perpetuated into adulthood. When they ‘worked’ (to gain the attention of a parent) as a child it can then become a part of your personality. Children can be very manipulative in their behavior to get more attention but often the same tactics don’t work well as an adult and bring about problems in later life.
Holding on to money stems the flow
Like life, money flows through your hands. By holding on to it, with a fear that you may not make enough, you are building a fear into the process of monetary exchange. The fear will manifest continually showing up in your life as lack and limitation – because whenever you handle money you get this knot in your stomach and fear for not having enough. Money itself is indifferent. It is only your reaction to money which creates problems in your life through the perpetual thinking of lack and limitation.
Easily and effortlessly
For a long time I was doing this and have replaced some of my old thinking patterns relating to money. I had a lack and limitation belief about money which I have now replaced with ‘money comes easily and effortlessly’. Notice your self talk and beliefs around money and you will see you are telling yourself a story about it. Start to tell yourself a different story about money. Replace beliefs such as ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘life’s a struggle’, ‘there’s never enough’ with ‘money comes easily and frequently’, ‘I always have plenty’, ‘life is amazing’. If you are ingrained with old beliefs like life is a struggle and wish to change them, you may find it difficult to jump straight to ‘life is amazing’! Start by noticing your self talk and the things you say which reiterate emotions and feelings of difficulty. This is your story which you have chosen to believe. Once you have noticed your self talk you can slowly release its grip on you and replace the words and feelings with better ones.