Most people at one time or another get trapped in a vicious circle of struggle. It’s that frustrated feeling which compounds on itself when you can’t come to a logical conclusion and take the right action. You get frustrated, bewildered and paralysed with inaction. Or, you just continue to repeat what you’ve always done, hoping the situation will right itself somehow..
In an online business, I find this happens frequently. I’m indecisive about what course of action to take. In the hurry to build an online business through desperation, it’s easy to take the wrong steps. What feels best isn’t always the right thing to do; but it’s better than nothing of course. Getting ‘stuck’ in struggle mode is one of the biggest productivity killers in an online business.
Escaping The ‘Vibe’ Of Struggle
Struggle gives many people purpose. We want to feel alive, validated and purposeful. Without this feeling of struggle, it’s sometimes hard to think we’re actually making progress. Our work has become so far removed from necessity, that we re-create the feeling of ‘struggle’ in our lives, even though we aren’t physically fighting wild creatures or hunting for our own food anymore – as our ancestors once did.
Does struggle make our lives better? In many ways no it doesn’t! It recreates problem scenarios which we can re-live over and over. But what happens when we’ve had enough of struggle? What happens when we’re fed up of having no money, AND fed up of the constant struggle of making not enough!?
Many lottery winners lose their money shortly after winning it. How come? Why does this happen so frequently. Why do people fall back into previous ways of living, given the chance to become free forever?
Struggle Creates More Struggle
I was in a pretty bad situation several years ago. I was thousands of pounds in debt, had no job and was paying my rent on a credit card. It was a pretty disastrous position to be in. I was in and out of work and got temp jobs as an HGV driver, an office worker and occasionally as a stuntman! I had all kinds of jobs over many years, but I always struggled because I didn’t have a consistent income and I always had consistent outgoings!
I had definitely had enough.
I got reading every book I could find on The Law Of Attraction. See a free downloadable collection here: Entrepreneur Development Ebook Free Download. It struck me that it was me who was creating the problems by focusing on the constant struggle. I was living a life largely in fear. It was a pretty miserable existence too when I look back. I’m not sure how I tolerated it for so long now.
Anyway, as I become more aware of how my thoughts were creating my reality, I was able to notice when my mind shifted into panic mode! As it did, I focused instead of things I wanted to have, the lifestyle I wanted to achieve. I had no idea how to get there but I just knew I didn’t want to re-live the painful emotions of struggle any more. So I stopped!
It’s hard to imagine how things can be better when you’re in a constant state of struggle. If someone tells you to relax and focus on some ‘pie in the sky’ fantasy, you’re likely to want to knock them out! That was where I was in my mind! No solution could help me, no-one could fix it. My struggle was built on more struggle, and there was no easy way for me to get out. Why? Because my self image was about struggle! I was struggle! Without struggle, I couldn’t imagine how life could be; it was out of my comfort zone!
As I learned to relax and contemplate life differently, my state of mind shifted towards a softer outlook. I became more adept and creating this state instead of worry, fear and panic; which I was accustomed to.
Over time, I learned to notice when I became stressed, replayed negative situations in my mind or rehearsed situations I didn’t want to happen. I had become wired for failure, disappointment, stress and negativity! This wasn’t what I wanted, so I began to practice more pleasant visualisations.
What If There Were No Struggle?
How would your life be if there wasn’t any struggle? With someone stuck in struggle mode, this question is likely to throw up many answers which aren’t very positive:
“I can’t do that”, “That’s for someone else”, “In my situation..” “Get real”, “That’s not an option for me” etc. etc. “Oh, just f*&ck OFF”!!
But, what if there wasn’t struggle in your life? How would it feel? Do yourself a favour and postpone all those negative reactions and knee jerk attitudes for long enough to experiment with this idea.
How would your life be like, if there wasn’t any money worries, you loved what you did, and life was filled with positive encouraging people and circumstances? Imagine what you would love to do, love to have and the people you would love to spend time with. Fantasise like you used to do.
As a child, I had some great fantasies about life. Only as I grew up did the ‘real world’ and other people’s attitudes spoil my ability to really imagine (and create) a life worth living!
The First Step
The first step in overcoming struggle is to stop reaffirming that ‘life is a struggle’ to yourself and everyone around you. As you stop giving energy to your painful words and vibes, you’ll notice when others do this too! You’ll notice others around you who complain and moan. Don’t engage just observe.
This will take some time, especially if you’ve been doing this for a while and are entrenched in complain mode! I’m from the north of England in Leeds and there’s definitely a culture of moaning among some groups!
You’ll also notice your thoughts turning towards problems and complaints constantly, if this is a habit for you. Just observe but don’t engage!
A Gratitude Journal
If you’ve been taught to complain more than you show gratitude, this constant complaining will have become normal for you. You’ll unconsciously look for things to complain about and as you do so, you’ll find more and more things. You’ll even actively seek out problems which aren’t there at times! That’s what you’ve been ‘feeding’ your subconscious mind.
To shift this tendency, you can start a ‘gratitude journal’. A gratitude journal is simply a diary where you write down everything you are grateful for on a daily basis. Over time, and with persistence, this has the opposite effect of the pattern of constant complaining!
You’ll start to see more things to be grateful for. Your subconscious mind will look for more ways to be grateful and you’ll eventually manifest more things in your life which are in alignment with this new ‘vibe’ you’re creating.
Take Action Towards Something Positive
If you’ve been complaining for a long time, it can become your default position to complain. People don’t like a misery guts so you can lose friends, cut yourself off and draw more negative situations and circumstances towards you by constantly complaining.
Don’t berate yourself for having done this either – since it’s just another negative loop. Instead, decide to take a positive step towards some new habits. You don’t need to do anything dramatic at first, just be open to opportunity.
Take Time Out To Enjoy
If you’ve been struggling for a long time, it could be all your habits are tied up with either making or saving money. You’re afraid to actually enjoy life and let go of the constant ‘need’ to pursue some goal or achievement.
Letting go of this inner ‘struggle’ can be a massive release. Take the time to play and enjoy life a little. Don’t get too serious about things. Exercise regularly and don’t overwork. Exercise in itself can be a massive help if you’re suffering from burnout.
When I’m feeling trapped and struggling, hard physical exercise often removes the internet trapped energy and help change my mindset.
Wanting It Now & Emotional Pain
We are ‘here’ in the present moment but our mind is set on what we don’t have. We want more money, a better life, more pleasant circumstances, so we create pain attaching ourselves to circumstances which don’t exist! If we do this for long enough, we are leaning into the future by sacrificing the present moment. We feel emotional pain if we do this too much and eventually this leads to physical problems in the body due to the ‘dis-ease’ which we create for ourselves.
The Pain Body
Eckhart Tolle talks about the pain body in this video. Once you become aware of the negative emotions which ‘feed’ the pain body, you’ll want to stop giving more energy towards it with negative emotions.
More Time & Freedom
I wanted to build more time and financial freedom into my life. Money was my biggest worry but I didn’t want to be tied to a normal job, which always seems to make me miserable.
I found an online community which offered the ability for me to earn income from the laptop. It took some time before this started bringing in money but with some perseverance it eventually did. If you are looking for a way to do this too, access a on-demand training workshop here to learn more.