Get Out Of Your Own Way – Overcoming Self Defeating Behavior

Can you get out of your own way – Overcoming self defeating behavior isn’t an easy task. We can be our own best friends and our own worst enemies. One character trait might protect us in one way but hold us back in another. It is not until we are striving for something different that we realize our limitations. They are often caught up in old patterns of behavior, limited thinking and attitudes which don’t serve us in a new situation. Are you carrying the past around with you. Is this preventing you from moving forwards?

Get Out Of Your Own Way Overcoming Self Defeating Behavior

Does money limit you?

Money is a good example of how we can allow external conditions to dictate our lives. Let’s say you have an opportunity to meet someone who could help you to move your business forwards. You have to travel and buy a train ticket but you’re low on funds. Do you go or do you save your money? According to your own personal set of values, instincts and resources you will make a choice. However, what if that choice doesn’t help you or even holds you back.

Do You Hold Back in Conversation?

get out of your own way overcoming self defeating behavior

Are you the first to start a conversation or do you hold back and wait to see what the other person says? Are you first to the bar or do you hang back waiting to see if someone else buys the round? Waiting for someone else to initiate something might be a trait which has served in the past but which no longer serves you. If you have a passive tendency like this you may find others leading you, rather than making choices of your own.

Do You Always Do Just What’s Required?

If you limit yourself to ‘just enough’ then you will soon find yourself limiting everything in your life too. Successful people don’t limit their activities to a comfortable amount. They push beyond what is comfortable to create something more. They get passionate about what it is they are doing, and that passion creates momentum. If you’re limiting yourself in some way stop it! Push past what is your comfortable ‘best’ and create a new level of awesomeness! Don’t accept the ‘norm’. Don’t accept other people’s limits or societies limits on what you can achieve.

Get Out Of Your Own Way Overcoming Self Defeating Behavior

Do You Really Want High Self Esteem?

Low self esteem is often a blocker to achievement and success. People with high self esteem are often looked to as role models. But do you really want high self esteem? Having a high self esteem is great in many ways and it is often business leaders who have a good self esteem. There is a negative pay-off for having low self esteem and that is you can let others take the lead. You can get on with most people and ‘blend in’.

However, it can be a low self esteem which means you suffer when attempting something new or difficult. You may struggle standing up for yourself and can be overlooked for promotion and opportunities for advancement if you suffer from a low self esteem. Having high self esteem doesn’t necessarily mean being a know it all either. You can be confident in your own skin without having to be the one always talking.

Get Out Of Your Own Way Overcoming Self Defeating Behavior

Do You Always Look For A Bargain?

Are you a bargain hunter? Always looking for the cheapest price can be a sign that you don’t consider yourself able to buy something new. You “mentally class yourself with the poor”  -Wallace Wattles “The Science Of Getting Rich”. How can you rise above this tendency? If your mind is trained always to look for the cheapest things, you cheapen yourself in the process. You are in fact stating that “This is what I can afford”. If you have this tendency, remind yourself that you are worth more than this can can go first class if you choose. Buy something new that you really want, and not just because of the price.

Do You Struggle In Life?

Do you find that self defeating behavior is sabotaging your best efforts to build a happier and more prosperous life? It can be our own deepest feelings and insecurities which are sabotaging ourselves from the success we truly deserve. We feel though, that we don’t deserve it and this is what can cut us off from achievement and success. We can counter this tendency by focusing on what we want in life rather than reliving our ‘failures’. We can get our subconscious mind on our side with various exercises and meditation. Here are two books which can help to do this:

Psycho-Cybernetics is a great book on self image – one of the main reasons why you might be fighting with yourself. Unless you change your self image, things won’t change for you.

get out of your own way overcoming self defeating behavior

Another great book on focusing your subconscious to achieve any task is How To Get Lots Of Money For Anything Fast by Stuart Lichtman. It’s probably one of the best books on achievement and deals with aligning your subconscious and conscious minds to eliminate fear, hesitation and distraction.


Get Out Of Your Own Way – Overcoming Self Defeating Behavior in Business

It is often in business when self limiting beliefs and behavior surface. They may not be obvious at first but if you pursue something for long enough and struggle, you will ultimately face some of your own limiting ideas, behaviors and beliefs holding you back. Becoming more aware of your self talk and the things you say in company can help you to uncover these hidden obstacles.

Self Talk – The Secret Communicator of the Future

Henry Ford said “whether a man believes he can or he can’t, he’s right”. Belief and action go hand in hand. You don’t achieve anything meaningful without overcoming obstacles. Our belief in ourselves changes according to what is presented to us over time. It is our self talk however, which determines how we move forwards. We constantly talk to ourselves about situations and events. It is how we do this which determines our mindset for the future. If we are pessimistic about life, we plant seeds of pessimism in our subconscious mind, and those of others.

get out of your own way overcoming self defeating behavior

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