The one reason that we should take 100% responsibility or our lives is self empowerment. If we blame others or put anything which occurs in our lives down to chance, luck or coincidence, we are taking less than 100% responsibility for it. There are things which are out of our control but there are also many things which we fail to notice are within our control. We consider those things outside of our parameter of control because we either have handed over responsibility for those elements to someone else or have not yet learned how to take positive action in those areas of our lives.
For example think about something which you are particularly good at. You might have a hobby or focus of your life of which you are particularly proud. You will have spent a lot of time on this hobby, you talk about it often and mix with people who share this same interest. If you don’t have a particular hobby your interest may lie in another area of life in which you consider yourself particularly good. It may be in the area of relationships or something less tangible which you haven’t considered. You are good at this area of your life simply because you have given your attention to it for long enough and been passionate about it.
Now consider an area of your life which you feel you could do with some work. Is there something in your life which you are not entirely happy about? How much time and attention have you given to this topic? Chances are that you have not fully thrown yourself into this area or yet found the opportunity to develop yourself to your fullest potential within this area. Once we realise and accept this we can empower ourselves to change and give ourselves permission to achieve that which we truly desire to happen in our lives.
Unless we accept that it is us who are totally responsible for the events and circumstances in our lives we will continue to blame our background, lack of education, bad luck, lack of opportunity or whatever other reason we choose to blame for the results in our lives. When we accept that those very results are the outcome of our attitudes, choices, decisions and either our action or lack of action, then we can begin to take charge and focus our minds on what we need to do to make the appropriate changes in our lives. Unless we do this we will continue to blame outside circumstances and remain ‘stuck’ in our present situation. This is a self fulfilling prophecy and our attitudes about life and how we see the world reflect on our situation, status and environment. If we are cynical of life our life situation reflects this cynicism. We don’t value the very things we really want and excuse ourselves from taking action due to our cynicism.
One way to find the main areas of our lives which are posing a problem to our moving forwards in our development is to begin with a list of things you would like in your life that you currently feel is missing or a problem for you. Often it is financially related or it might be in terms of relationships or love. Write down exactly what you want as if anything were possible. Next to that goal write down your objections or reasons why you have not obtained this yet. These reasons are your excuses or beliefs which are preventing you from even trying for the things you want. If we stop ourselves by believing we are not worth it or our dreams are unobtainable, we dis-empower ourselves from even starting down the path to our individual successes.
Just by becoming aware of our limiting beliefs we can shift our inner blockages which prevent us from obtaining our deepest wishes. Once we have discovered these limiting beliefs we can work towards removing them from our consciousness.
1. Write down the limiting belief. It may be in the form of a statement about your self worth. e.g “I’m not smart enough”
2. Write the opposite belief next to it. “I am smart enough”
3. Notice how you feel about the opposite belief. Chances are you will have a fair amount of resistance to it.
4. Write it out again in a way in which it is more possible for you e.g. “I can learn to be smart enough” or “I just need to learn some new skills”. Whatever is believable for you.
5. Keep doing this until you can read out the new sentence about your belief but without encountering any internal resistance.
6. Write this down and repeat it to yourself over and over.
7. Whenever your limiting belief comes up either within your own self talk or in conversation, use your new belief instead of the old one.
This is a powerful technique to change your internal model of the world. We keep getting the same results in life because we keep telling ourselves and others the same story. It becomes our identity or self image. Once we identify with this self image we cling to it as if our lives depend on it! We protect it from criticism and hold on to our inner beliefs even if they don’t serve us. Let go of your self image and create a new you!
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” Henry Ford