Being authentic and finding your true self.

I’m currently on day 11 of the 30 day success challenge and I’m learning a lot already about my own habits, comfort zones and personality traits which could be standing in the way of my success. Stuart Ross has put together the course and it is through the SFM community which I joined a few months ago that I have found this opportunity. To find out more join their 7 day boot camp course here. 

Today Stuart is talking about finding your specific target audience and being true to your core values. Reading a post of another community member just now, and watching a video created by Jay Kubassek – the co-creator of the SFM course, I am struck with a realization that I have been trying to please everyone and have lost touch with my genuine authentic self – whoever that is!

When I first started out online I felt I was pretending to be someone else other than who I really am. I was ‘trying’ to imitate the ‘gurus’ I suppose in order to pass myself off as one! It didn’t work, because it wasn’t congruent. It is easy to spot a fake on the internet because there is no passion in the copy. It is just sales ‘fluff’. Added to that it is incredibly taxing trying to maintain a fake ‘persona’ which isn’t really you. Too taxing in fact to maintain for any length of time – especially if you don’t believe the persona you are tying to be.

This is true in all walks of life and I often feel I have spent far too long ‘trying’ to create a ‘personality’ which gets along with everyone and hiding behind it burying my true feelings. It comes from feelings of inadequacy and a fear being ‘found out’! Being in-congruent for any length of time is incredibly tiresome and stressful. As an employee it’s important to be able to have a ‘shop front’ personality in some jobs and so too as a business owner. Getting along with people is also a useful trait in many businesses and careers. But sometimes when putting career in front of being your authentic self you can easily lose your way and forget what matters the most. It is much easier in the long run to just be your authentic self. You won’t please everyone or get along with everyone but most importantly you will please yourself and draw more people who are like you towards you, rather than trying to please everyone all the time which is an impossible task and turns people off on the whole.

Living a life which is incongruent with your true self is not only exhausting but very lonely. Pleasing everyone takes an incredible amount of energy. Being yourself is easy. Don’t apologize for it! Trying to please all the time comes across as weak and insincere. It is founded in insecurity. Learn how to be yourself and you can be comfortable wherever you are. You don’t have to pretend.

So how can we become a better version of ourselves than we are already or learn to be more true to our inner core values? How do we know who our authentic self is? One way to find out who you are is by being the person you have always wanted to be. Think about who your role models are and who you like to surround yourself with. What is your purpose here in this life and where are you going? What are your true values which come first before anything else? Being true to yourself feels good! Being fake doesn’t!