Try telling yourself a different story

It’s funny how the stories we tell ourselves transpire into our lives and end up being self fulfilling prophecies. A good friend of mine used to always be full of stories of how he would win on the slot machines, find money, meet gorgeous women and generally how great everything would turn out for him. It kinda got on my nerves because I was having a hard time and would be full of my stories of woe!!

Years later he is the same upbeat type of guy and has done incredibly well for himself. It struck me a few years ago that his up beat and happy go lucky mentality, but mostly his knack for focusing on what was fantastic about his life, is what many successful people do either consciously or unconsciously. It is a much discussed topic in the book by Wallace Wattles The Science of Getting Rich.

We get more of what we focus on. Not just in the quiet times when we are alone and thoughtful but our consistent and persistent stream of dialogue both internally and externally – what we do, say and think. What we talk about to others becomes a habit and often it can be to our detriment if we are talking ourselves down and are stuck in a ‘poor me’ control drama.

Of course there is a time where we can do a little emotional leaning on each other and that is healthy to a certain extent. But when it becomes a habit and all consuming then you begin to travel a path which is about having the hardest life, the most difficult time and in fact competing to be the greatest ‘poor me’! The control drama takes over and your whole life becomes about manipulating energy from others rather than finding it for yourself. It is the exact opposite to the success oriented focus. Instead you focus on what is bad about your life. It is a mental rut which soon becomes a physical one.

I first heard the term ‘control drama’ in a book called The Celestine Prophecy which talks about energy manipulation in the form of dramas which we learn when we are small to get attention. When we don’t grow past them and they continue into adulthood it can cause us problems. Often they hold us back and prevent us from living fuller lives. We try the same tactics to gain attention from adults which worked for us as children. But they don’t work!

When I first read The Celestine Prophecy I noticed straight away I fell into the category of ‘poor me’ with my control dramas. It really opened my eyes to my own inner behavior. Despite this I was chatting away to a friend the other night and fell into ‘ah well it’s such a struggle’ kind of conversation and ‘life is really tough…’ etc etc. It’s easy to get stuck in patterns which then control the whole of your life! I spotted it and made a comment about having a moan but really life is pretty ok. In fact much better than ok if I think about it! My friend said try telling yourself a different story!

Your subconscious is eavesdropping to every word you say and bringing the results into your life! When you change your story your life will change too. So when you next spot yourself moaning about something to someone, remember your subconscious mind is interpreting your thoughts and attempting to give you more of what you are focusing on!!

Comments

  1. Belinda says

    Hi Tim, a frank, honest and refreshing post. Ha ha, I can relate to trying the same childish tactics as an adult. Only problem is, it may work to an extent but I don’t feel that great! Its all about learning new ways of doing, saying and thinking things…reprogramming. I loved the way you described your subconscious eavesdropping on every word you say. Gotta watch that one!

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